Valentine’s Day has landed. And the elephant in the room is: the increase in the number of people choosing to be single. It’s the new obsession on social media as people let go of dependency and rely on self-management. In reality, they’re not exactly avoiding it; they just don’t want to be put in unnecessary complications.

Relationships are influenced by personal tendencies. In BaZi, the Five Elements describe a person’s behavioural pattern. Each element has its own ways of expressing itself, and these are qualified by our individual charts. Among those who choose to be single, some are cautious, Some hold very high standards. Others prioritise growth and independence.

These tendencies are not strengths or weaknesses. They are what you describe a person to be. For example, being overly expressive (Fire energy) may lead to fast attachments (again, Fire energy; think flame-out). Does one know the person well enough? Being overly analytical (Yin Wood energy) may prevent emotional openness. Will you not make the next move? Or being too picky about what you want (Yin Metal energy) are you going to find that perfect person?

The question is, why do we seek love relationships? Singlehood is about finding the right compatibility between who you are and your partner, like a Water energy nourishing Wood energy or a Fire energy creating Earth energy. When the compatibility aligns, the relationship naturally grows.

Sometimes, the first step to break away from singlehood just needs to start with you.